Allyerion

of how I wish someone with awesome drawing skills and imagination to draw my story into a manga.

ive been online just havent you know added work
i add more of my nature photography
i love photography now
writing my story still

loves

to

all

UGH!!!!! Slrityqp2oygifs0p6Ty0193QEGDSP9YOLIKCX-q[A_;spdofhxl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HONESTLY!!!!!  HOE STUPID AND STUCK UP CAN SHE GET!!!?!??!?!?!? I honestly hate her guts right now. Using the same excuse of IB, I'm busy, I'm the original…BLAH BLAH BLAH. STFU okay? I like I can relate and I'm so sure that anyone could too see how high school is BLEH. But as I said before, she cant use that pathetic accuse. I don't care if she or anyone believes in 'maturity' but I'll be damned if she doesn't comply to the logic im spewing from my mouth. I talk to many people about her irrationalness and they I know she has good friends in the ACC but I personally do not give a rats ass. If she's not cut out for it, then she's not. Its perfectly clear in her performance. For someone who was giving me an attitude for my 'attitude' on her case, didn't show up to practice that following Friday. Its kinda like a slap in my face to say how unqualified she was. >=[

I understand how people would give her a second chance, but again for her to say im being 'unfair' and then doesn't show? AH AHHAA?! No. Don't pull that shit with me and still think your all that.  That clearly unacceptable.  I'm not using any excuse what so ever. I know how it is to be an IB or AP student. I know everyone has their own thing to do. You know what? I'm a stop here because I'll be needlessly repeating my previous rant.

I'm hearing that she now blames the dance practice sessions for her grades dropping. OKAY. ONE it has nothing to do with us. TWO, its your fault honey.  THREE, I know people who don't so diddly squat and still have beater grades than you, regardless of the IB program. And then im hearing that people are really disliking me of my attitude or treat of the people who if im wondering if I should still call them 'friends'. (a ha ahaha….not likely.) Re-read previous rant if you must.

I must say. I will still disdain my sister for her weak meekness in all this but in all honesty. I can live with it because I can see that she sees why and how troublesome she can be because of her personality. What I cant deal with is the fact that the girl thinks she all that up in that head of hers. idc if shes got friend in the acc who are really close to her. idc. you all said you'd do it. i want that promise kept.

Addressing the whole ACC in general, this dance is supposed to be fun energetic. So not texting. No half assing which I have been seeing a lot. Put some fucking energy into god damnit. If you can go KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA over yaoi. I want that same energy into this dance. Or so help me.

She has until this Wed. When costumes are due. Is she cant do the whole dance without her screwing without asking for help. Then by golly I'll acknowledge her. But im pretty sure she won't. If anyone helps while she proves her skill then this whole this is off. Because it just shows me that she wasn't committed enough to learn the dance by herself and perform it full hearted by herself. Getting everything down perfectly. Idc if she has ap or ib testing. Suck it up. I ORIGINALLY asked everyone if you're going to be dedicated and committed and to at least show up to most of the meetings and practices. I don't see that from her for the past two months.  I very much expected that commitment.

God forbid if I should sound like a reasonable adult or your mother here. but if i have to act this way to smack some fucking sense into you. you know i will. if i have to kill you and such because you can't see the simplestness of my side of the argument. and you can tick me off again. you all better have some wicked ass running shoes on you. passport. because you run. if i have a sharp object in my hand besides my teeth and my verbal expressions of myself. Then god bless your little ass soul if you survive my wrath. because im sick of it. sick of it i tell you. if i dont hurt you physically you can totaly fucking bet that i will do something to hurt you in the long run. your stupidity pisses me off that much. get through your thick head. right here and now.

OMFG. this day had to be on my list for one of the most uncouth behavior of my life in my view. today i thought to have a nice peaceful-ish discussion with the acc people. though things told took a wrong turn because people though i was bagging, picking on them, pointing them out..whatever you call it. For now I'm going to talk...RANT...about my day afterschool cuz it was so fucking drama filled. -ahem- I apoligize in advance if this hurts anyone in some way shape or form. I'm just ranting.

Okay. Today day went well if not a usual boring normal day at school. all handy dandy...and then POOF!!!!!!!!!!! Afterschool comes. and i was really hoping to work things out with the acc without yelling, violence, yada yada. Ms. smith wasn't there because she had a meeting to go to. so we had the meeting in front of her classroom. which was fine. i took role. put the cd in to play some tunes while we wait for everyone to get there. and yada. it was calm and stuff and i called people in a circle telling them to stand sit whatever. and of course parshvi was there and she had this face like "i know she's gonna talk about me" or "ugh she's here" look. and its like "damn.this is going to be a shitty meeting...but lets hope this works out." so i talk like i said in my last journal entry i talked about parshvi's position in the dance. from my view i saw it as she hasn't been practice, coming to the meetings, and such. I understand the she has other stuff to do. she's moving to a new school. Ib. parents. anything, i can understand and relate too. But i do not think that she should use those excuses. because most if not half the acc is in IB and they still come to practice in the short time they have with us. she can't neccisarily ask to be taught the dance when its posted on youtube since i dont know when. she cant use the excuse of i didn't know when the meetings were or when we had practice or you didn't tell me when...somewhere along those lines. one its on youtube. 2, you see people from acc at lunch or whenever, you could have asked them when it was. yes it sounds like i was picking on her. but i was pointing out the facts. inkan was taking her place because she ceased to come to the meetings. which is liable to keep inky in the dance she she knows it more than parshvi does. and like, it'd be unfair-ish to inky because she's been practicing with us all this time and parshvi in because she's was there 'originally'. yes i see her argument. but if this was real, say cheerleading, she tried out and made. if she only went for a couple practices and vanished. she'd be kicked off the team. i was stating facts. and she thinks that i was bitching to her. i have to be firm about it. we have 2-3 or even 2 1/2 weeks now of small practices. and these next weeks are filled with AP + IB testing. which i can understand the attitude of like "UGH i finished this test. i dont feel like practicing". then my sister starts saying im being stupid about all this. yes i can understand that. but you also have to understand that you disappear for like 2 months of practice of this dance that we stuck with. in a month at least 2-3 practice days in a week for 4 weeks. if i saw here 1 or 1 1/2 of those practices and still be there to learn it enough to practice by herself. I got no problem. but i didnt see her once if not twice there. my sister stay after school until 6 PM at most. i see her stay afterschool for various periods of time as well. she could have asked us to teach her then but i did not hear a word from her. so i do not see that i should play fair with her just because she was 'originally' there or that she's in IB. in my opinion, thats the lamest excuse i heard that day. others have AP + IB + other stuff to do yet they still come to practice for that ammount of time they have to stay. which i admire their determination and responsiblity to actually show up and try. i honestly did not see her do that. anyway...i talked about it then people start to argue with me that its stupid yada yada. yet i had people as witnesses that see how.. .she sucked at dancing it. niken is right behind her in the positions as during the audition for our spot she and i can frankly say that she did not do as well as we thought she would do. which i know she could practice more with us. get in synch. yada. again, i did not see her. anyway. naka left cuz we argued a the rest stayed. nicole went after her to like make sure she's okay and like next thing i know theres only me my sis inky niken and parshvi there. thensays that its stupid that i picked on her and made it sound like i wanted to start something. which i wasnt. i clearly stated that i wasnt starting anything, putting anyone on the spot, make you hate me, anything. its her face was like "whatever idc". hello? am i talking to air? i wanted to voice my opinions and then ask you wanted to do. i hoped you see a SLIGHT glimpse of my side to understand the smallest part of where i came from view-thing. and then she leaves say this is stupid. which i could argue all day that it was not. then my sister and i argue using cuss words and yelling and you can guess what happens when do fight with siblings...then she told me to go die. which i would happily cuss i cant even make my fucking opinion about something when i would overly say that their opinion was more than mine. cuz i know everyone would outrule me. i started to have tears of frustration ran down my cheeks cuz i couldnt even fucking say what i wanted even it was so small. i still found value in it because of the short time we have left. security comes over and askes whats up and my sis talks to them one of them tried to talk to me but its like fuck u you can help me go on your merry little way. anyone could tell i was NOT in the mood to seek help from adults. so i walked away tears still running down my face. they ask my name and called me back. and im just thinking its useless. why bother. u knowing not going accept you pitful help. yada. so i called my mom. still crying. and i t worried her greatly. i understand. because i rarely crying to her for help. but i had to i felt useless cuz everyone walked off like this is all bullshit. who could i talked too? my sis told me to die. which i get on a normal basis from everyone. but it would still hurt no matter how many times i would hear it from anothers mouth. and frankly i was under so much stress pressure whatever and that time i had to break. no questions asked. people followed me shortly after to talk to me and such but i was such in a terrible state i had to unintentionally rudely tell them to go away. or that it was just not a good time. i said it to nicole too but she stayed knowing how broken i was at that time. i talked to my mom for like 25 mins ranting crying everything. my hot tears could not stop. it was like my dam broke and the water flooded out. everyone looked hurt cuz we all fell apart. after i talked to trying innocently say my views. to see the logical side of it. but i went back after jackie barked hunted us down. everything resolve without me which i hoped they do in the first place without me because most of them had first lunch. i could not see why they couldnt discuss it then. then we go take my sis to karate where we further more talked and it was this just did not happen moment. because i ranted to my mom and she doesnt back me up menting about it or anything. its just like really? your not backing me up? after i ranted and cried to you seeking help? WTF? and when my sis spoke it was like she was so hardcore about me be all demanding that i kick her out. yes i wanted to discuss that. I ORIGINALLY said that "I THINK we should remove her from the dance" and then it took a wrong turn because people got all personal on it. and its like WTF? and unnecessary people wanted to but it but i had to straight up tell them they had nothing to do with this so but out. its just a hod pudge of fucking drama. which i originally though i was going to solve without yelling. nope. just a dream. and nicole said that people think im trying to be in control because i found something of interest to me and i suddenly want in. okay. 1) i was in acc before you 2)i alrady knew about the assembly try it out and everything 3)yes i might be all on your ass about everything and strict but without organization, what the hell are we going to do? 4)im the prez sis, lame excuse i know, but honestly. i have to go to acc bc of her. i have nothing to do afterschool but hang. i dont see her excuse. 5)she did NOT just say i was not in acc. i make the cd. assign dates that would work with everyone. i own the dvd that even let you guys know of the existance of the dance. i help teach you in a way. i act as your vp in a way. if i didnt who the hell is going to help be in charge of this. i maybe be up your ass but as far as i can see, its worked out so far. 6) you people have short attention spans. yes its afterschool. its chill time. yes. but PLEASE focus on this matter. we get off subject countless times. its no wonder i have to fucking raise my voice to grab your attention. 7)UGH UGH UGH UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I apologized to ms.taylor because she as holding a tutoring class thing and we were really loud...and yea...

i like to take longs walks by myself it calms me down. and i has nothing to worry about maybe a couple of stalkers and such. OH! she also accuse me of bitching behind her back. OH WHAT THE HELL? People who see me at class in lunch whenever. do you see me bitching about her? No you dont. she has not proof of that honestly? she also stated that i posted bad things about her online like DA or whatever. who ever has my DA knows that i said "1-discuss parshvi position in dance" or somewhere along those lines. WHERE THE HELL DOES IT SAY THAT I WAS BITCHING ABOUT HER? i also stated that if we couldn't get through this. then its over. it had nothing about me being all highy and mighty saying "mwa ha aha ha a!!! YOUR ALL MY SLAVE AND SHOULD DO WHAT I SAY!!!!" then hell????? honestly. i was not trying to sound like "i hate her. i want her out of the dance. i'll do anything to get what i want." I TRIED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF SIMPLY BUT EVERYONE SEEM TO TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY AND WALKED OFF BEFORE ANYTHING WAS FUCKING RESOLVED!!!!! and everything was resolved without my presence being there. which im finally glad that it ended. but could you HONESTLY done that earlier before this drama???? like really? and it made me think like hm...finally they dont need my opinion with everything or something so they should do this without me. i quit from this dance. do whatever you want. i dont want to be fucking part of this anymore. this is dumb and you just realize now you could pull through after ANOTHER huge fight that neednt be there? are you really that slow??? people thought i was like "YOU GUYS LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY IN ACC. I DID EVERYTHING AND YOU ALL HAVE TO DO IT. ITS THE LAW. MWA AHAHAHHAHA!" OH WHAT THE HELL? I'm SOOOOOO sorry for helping organizing things like shopping dates, practice dates, song editing, teaching, yada yada. should i have not showed you this dance? should i have not even brought up the suggestion of putting myself in a place so that it actually helped you to attain a fucking position in the assembly? are you saying that what i try to do to make this work is useless? yes i understand that anyone could do what i did. but i saw no one offer anything but ideas. was it then wrong for me to place myself in a position that got us going and working? yes i was being somewhat straight up your ass about it but if i didnt how am i or anyone suppose to know what going down with what!

PEACE OUT. I'm cry myself to sleep after endless studying of school work. As if there was nothing else to do with my "life". After all, since some of you think i'm climbing up your asses because i can or i love to get on your nerves. honestly. GET OVER IT. I'm not doing it because i can or because i want to. if you guys want to make it work someone has to. and it just so happens to land on me and i would take up to it. cuz if anyone knows me, i love to help. but i then have to turn anal on it because people disappear, people dont do shit, or something like that. i have to hold a firm grip.  then my mother says that i should change my attitude. OH WHAT? you know i've been like this. if not EVERYONE knows i'm like this. i had to do to help get what done done. i can NOT change my attitude on matter like this in five minutes flat. not possible. do not to ask me to do the impossible. if you yourself can not even do the possible. If i kept ranting.  I'be be needlessly repeating myself. I apologize if I hurt anyone with my rant.

Okay On Wed afterschool, ms. Smiths room anime meeting.

BRING YOUR HAPPI COATS + THE RIBBON THAT CAME WITH IT (THE SILKIES), TANK TOPS, BLACK/GRAY/NAVEY SHORTS/CAPRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOST IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!

it is a date where we will decide:

1- to keep parshvi in the dance (not trying to hate anyone or anything)

2- what freaking happi coat you'd like to wear, if dont like ur color, we might switch your spot to get the fudging color you want. >=[ though it is most perferable to SUCK IT UP and just accept the color given to you. depends on what we decide on TOMORROW. IF YOU DONT SHOW, YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THE COLOR GIVEN TO YOU. NO EXCEPTIONS.

3- other practice dates

4- your happi coats are not SMALL for you. you are going to wear a tank top and shorts. I am VERY SURE that there is room for you to move!!!!!! If we have to then we will try to change the happi coats around to fit your size. Hopefully....

5- we'll get there



This meeting I'll express my views on the matter at hand and it would be much appreciated if you would save your questions for later. I'm sorry for my attitude monday, though you guys could just DEAL WITH IT FOR THAT ONE PRACTICE and then decide everything LATER. GOD! >.< Buncha lovely whiners that a love. Though my patience and tolerance has a LIMIT PEOPLE! >=[ DO THAT THING AGAIN AND I'LL MAKE SURE WE DONT PERFORM IN THE ASSEMBLY. MAKE NOTE OF THAT.